The View From A Hospital Window

7 Oct

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I am recovering from the second hospital stay in two months. It’s difficult for a musician to realize the heart no longer keeps the right beat. On the other hand, I now fully understand my mother’s lost rhythms, part of the losses that affected thirty years of her life and mine. I have now caught the essence of every pain she ever had, and I understand them. Too late an understanding to help her. And, at the moment, I am not sure knowing what they are is of much help to me.

But I’ll learn. I’ve had to learn new things every step of the way. I haven’t learned the most successful lessons, but I have learned memorable ones. What will be next?  I hope not the one in which I learn what happens when the heart just stops. Not for awhile. I am not done with life yet. I certainly hope it isn’t done with me.

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